July 18

Katanya sedih itu kita sendiri yang membuat dan merasakan. 

Dunia berjalan ya berjalan, bagaimana reaksi kita terhadap keadaan saja.

Untuk kesibukannya, aku mengerti. Toh dia jujur, bukan? (bermain game) 

Yg aku khawatirkan hanya untuk urusan Sholat. Kembali terulang seperti ini, da. Ingat.

Bukan maksudku membuatnya tdk nyaman, hanya saja.. sudahlah, tugasku sudah. Urusannya dengan Tuhan.

Sisi

Manusia punya sisi. Baik dan buruk, bukan?

Kertas putih yang bersih pun bila ada titik hitamnya, kita melihat titik hitam itu.

Padadal kertas putih yang masih bersih amatlah besar.

Analogi sederhana, benar adanya. Kita kebanyakan seperti itu.

Mengingat kejelekan orang lain, padahal kebaikannya jauh lebih banyak. Terlupakan?

Mungkin kita sendiri belum instropeksi, bagaimana pandangan orang lain terhadap kita.

Menganggap diri kita baik, dan tidak merasa menyakiti siapapun.

Percayalah, duri yang tidak terlihat itu benar adanya. Kita? Tidak melihat dan merasakan.

Kita hanya menganggap orang lain yang menyakiti kita.

Memang, tidak mudah melihat dengan berbagai perspektif.

Tapi itu keharusan. Karena kacamata kita, yang menganggap benar hanya kita, bukan orang lain.

Kita hanya merasakan saat sisi buruk orang lain keluar.

Saat kita berusaha menghadapinya dengan kesabaran kita, kita merasa kita yang sabar.

Tapi tidak merasa saat sisi buruk kita sendiri yang keluar. Tidak sadar saat orang lain sabar atas kita.

Terkadang, kita membicarakan orang lain, sisi buruknya.

Tanpa kita sadari orang lain-pun membicarakan sisi buruk kita.

Hanya saling menilai dalam diri masing-masing, membicarakan dengan orang lain dan bukan orang yang dituju.

Berkacalah, berinstropeksilah.

Kritik itu memang pedas, tapi amat baik.

Sayangnya tidak banyak yang berani mengutarakannya.

My dream?

Debate about this. Mine, not yours. I let you be whatever you want to. But you… have criteria for your wife. Alright.

I know you want me to be what you want. But, where's the real me? ...

Okay, I follow your rules (what do you want).

You don’t want to see me become athlete such as climber or runner, right?

You want to have a calm wife -artist&pianist- just know that I wanna be  pianist for sure!

You said that I can become everything I want to. But, if you don’t like about "that" . I have to make you sure, tell you whats the benefits , etc (up to me, my method). I just never think it will be so complicated.

I wanna have a husband that understand me (you did!) and support me whenever wherever I am.

I want you to accept me, with all your heart sincerely.

You can change me, if that’s make me better than before. If not? I don’t want to.

I'm trying to be what you want. Isn't easy but I'm trying.

Appreciate that!

There's anybody who could change me become what they want except you. Be grateful.

Scared

I'm with you.

I don’t know why in every meet or trip there are so many feelings here, in my deepest heart.

When I meet you for the first time

It feels like I have a butterfly in my tummy

So happy, so funny and so amazing

But when the time come to us

Time to say good bye

Time that I hate so fucking much

Because I don’t know when will I meet you again

Will I?

I'm scared if that time will be the last for us

I'm so afraid to lose you

I don’t want to, sweetheart

I know we're separate by distance

Long distance

I know this is hard for us but

I'm sure we'll pass it and have a happy ending

You said that if the ending is sad, that’s not an ending

Every goodbye is beginning you know

Begin to be stronger and loving each other more

Me, in 696 km distance from you

I just wanna say that

I love you, I miss you and I need you

So much… more… 

8th Mensiversary

Today was so tired. Not only with my college life but also with you.

Suddenly I asleep at midnight -you know that I don’t want to- but you're mad at me

I don’t know that's a fight or not but.. I just feel sad.

This is our 8th mensiversary, I just wanna make this day a good day for us.

I wish.

At the morning I feel so guilty, and you give me choices. And I say yes.

Actually.. I still don’t know about that and don’t wanna give any promise

But yeah, yes is my decision. You'll forgive me (and I hope this is the last and we will have a good time later:))

I don’t know why today was so busy and maybe we're not keeping contact. Sorry.

Studying, meeting, practice for that event. I just wanna go to my bed!

I remember when Nuri and Fo say "Happy anniv" and I feel so glad. But then Nuri ask

"Is he give you something? Or you?" and I just smile without any words.

My heart tell me "The best thing today is to hear his voice and to say happy anniversary in call with happy feeling.

When I arrived in dorm suddenly your message on bbm make me so dissapointed.

You say that you'll practice with your band. It's okay :) (My fake smile)

My heart just feels like hit by something, hurt.

When you're hoping, just please remember there's nothing perfect. Maybe your hope will be okay, maybe not.

Are you ready for that "fall"?

HURT. Why? Because I miss you right now, here.. Miss to see your face, smile, body, to hear your voice especially when you're singing and miss everything about you.

I just miss you. Just that. Don't you know, do you?

One thing that make me feel strong right now. I read all my wrote in laptop and bb, happy love fun cute feeling.

When I sad, there are so many things that make me happy.. Miss you more. 

amour

Pronunciation: /əˈmʊə/

Definition of amour

noun

• a love affair or lover, especially one that is secret: